Journey of the Journeyman

I’m writing to tell you, dahlin’ please
Let me live my life at ease
You do more harm than you do good
When you want to help enliven my mood
I know it’ll hurt but I really want to say
Just stay
Out of my way

To help me you say your fingers were itchin’
And then you barge uncalled for into my kitchen
You burnt the rice, you spilt the milk
You broke the China, you stained the silk
I wonder what mind so dark and depraved
Would thrust a metal bowl into the microwave

All you can do is chat and yap and talk
You can’t even take Rover out for a walk
You can’t even get on the pony without a stirrup
You can’t even dispense Jenny her morning syrup

I ask you to buy lemon
You bring home lime
For what costs a nickel
You happily pay a dime

I felt it all along and now I am certain
You’re less of a help and more of a burden
Thanks, I can lug the laundry ‘cross the street
May I request you to get back to your seat ?
The last time you tried to share the load
A basket of dirty linen was seen kissing the road

Will you please stop trying to tidy the house ?
You don’t even know my nightgown from my blouse
You don’t know our doctor, you don’t know the vet
Hell, you can’t even connect to the Internet
It’d be a big favor if you’d kindly stop
Cleaning my Persian rug with a mop
Folded arms, on bended knees I pray
Just stay
Out of my way.